An Incredible Journey
Part One
There will be lots of photos when Ron has time to post them at www.rtsla.photofreeway.com

We just have returned from eight days in Navsari, which is in the state of Gujarat in NW India. I didn’t have access to the Internet and besides we were so busy I wouldn’t have had time to write a blog. I’m not sure I can capture the incredible experience Ron and I had with Raju Gupta’s family but I will try. Neither of us will ever forget the experience, as it was one of the most special experiences of our lives. Since we did so much, this will be a serial blog with several installments.

Ron met Raju, the PublicWorks Director,City Engineer for Navsari at the International City/County Management Association (ICMA) conference last September, shortly before we left for Sri Lanka. Ron and Raju had worked for a couple of years to get a professional exchange put together. It took Raju four requests to finally get a visa to come to the US for the exchange, sponsored by ICMA. Following the conference Raju came to Vancouver and lived with us for two weeks and went to work with Ron everyday to learn about city management/local government in the US. So we left Wednesday for Mumbai where Raju had a car pick us up at the airport to drive us three hours north to Navsari. We arrived in Mumbai around 9:30 p.m. Parth, Raju’s 16-year-old son, Vidhi, his almost 12-year-old daughter and Sangita, Raju’s lovely wife, greeted us. Then there was Sangita’s brother and his wife and their three kids. We all piled into the car with the driver and drove to a hotel to pick up their luggage as they had been having a holiday in Mumbai for two days. So add this up. There were 11 people in the car plus luggage. Does sardine can come to mind? Lots of folks in close proximity is very usual in India and VERY different for us in North America. We’re getting ahead of ourselves, but we also saw 8 people in a tri-shaw that’s made for two passengers and a single driver. Anyway, back to the story. The traffic was horrific and it took two hours to get to the hotel. Then we headed for Navsari and stopped at midnight for dinner. We arrived at Raju’s home at 4:30 a.m. To our surprise everyone in the family was up to welcome us and what an incredible welcome we had. We entered the house and were asked to sit on the couch. Raju’s 82-year-old father placed a garland of fresh flowers around Ron’s neck and Sangita placed one around mine. Raju’s niece, Nitu then proceeded with a welcoming ritual where she put a tilak (dot on the forehead used by Hindus to indicate the focus of the mind on god) on each of us then waved a small candle on a tray near us. The ritual ended with us being showered by the family with rose petals. I was in tears by then. Such a memorable welcome. We shall never forget it. Keep in mind it is 4:30 in the morning, and the entire family got up to welcome us. Raju and Sangita gave us their bedroom for our stay.

The next morning we got up at 9:30 and were treated to a fabulous breakfast of 7-8 dishes. We had dhal with green chilies, chulca, dossas, fruit, coffee, chapatti, and Pringles. Yes Pringles are a real treat in India. I needed help keeping the family members straight so I asked Parth to help me. Twelve family members live here. Raju designed at built the house about twenty years ago for his family. The parents are Santidevi and Kantilal, the mother and father. They had 9 children, six boys and three girls. Raju is number seven in the birth order. So Santidevi and Kantilal live in the house, Raju’s older brother Umesh and his wife Maya, Piyash, (Umesh’s son and Raju’s nephew) and his wife Nisha and their two daughters Annamica and Astha and finally Raju, Sangita, Parth and Vidhi live in the house.

I thought Raju’s sister Meena and her daughter Nitu who is in her early 20’s lived there also but as I am counting I think they must live nearby as they were frequently at the house. In addition, as I mentioned Sangita’s relatives were staying there at the same time. So with Ron and me, the total was 19! There are sleeping mats to extend the number of beds. The family eats in shifts. Traditionally women prepare and serve the meal for the men and guests so Ron and I always ate first with Raju and other adult men or teenage boys. The other women ate then lastly the women who prepared the meal. I say women because while we were there two-three women would be in the kitchen preparing various dishes. Very little rice is eaten in this part of India but lots of wonderful fried breads. We were constantly offered more food as soon as we finished one of the dishes on our plates. We would politely decline at which point more food would be heaped onto our plates. It got to be a joke, as we soon realized saying “no” was meaningless. We were never allowed to clear the table or wash a dish. If I tried to take my plate to the sink, at least one if not two people would take it from me.

Raju had to go to work so Raju had asked Piyash, his nephew, if he would take care of us because our first day we were to be entertained since we had gotten in so late (or early as the case may be). This family is very close and inclusive so into a small car with Piyash driving Ron and me along with two teens and two younger kids. Three in the front in bucket seats and four in the back. It was great fun. First we went to see the family hotel, located right next to the railway station. Raju’s father when he came to Navsari many years ago had no money but started out serving food from a cart at the railway station. Eventually he bought property next to the station and developed his hotel business. It is a real rags to riches story. The hotel is in easy walking distance from the house and Kantilal still goes to work everyday. His sons Vishnu and Umesh and his grandson Piyash all work at the hotel. Vishnu and Piyash manage the restaurant. The hotel is a typical Indian hotel and has a dormitory as well as private rooms.
Next we drove out into the country to see a Hindu temple and along the way saw a rural wedding party dancing in the road with a small band of Indian musicians. What a colorful sight with the bright saris blowing in the wind and the gyrating bodies, arms over the head dancing away. A frequent sight is bullock carts and lots of cows, many of which have no owners but are dependent on the generosity of Hindus to feed them. The Holy Cow presents 360 millions gods to Hindus. McDonalds has a presence in India but serves no beef. Back to the story, we also saw a camel cart, that’s right, a cart being pulled by a camel. As we drove back into town we saw another wedding party, this time with a car decorated with large flower arrangement attached to the roof and hood of the car with garlands of marigolds connecting the two arrangements. Piyash commented that in India two people don’t marry, two families marry. About 85% of all marriages in India are arranged marriages. We went back to the house for a lunch feast, again many delicious dishes were served. We rested in the afternoon then we took two vehicles and almost the whole family went to the site where Mahatma Gandi defied the British salt tax in 1930 by marching 260 kilometers, the Salt Walk, to the spot where salt was extracted from the seawater. This act was the beginning of the “Quit India” movement that led to India’s independence in 1947. There is a wonderful statue here of Gandhi taking the salt and a small museum with wonderful photos and quotes by Gandhi. I cried numerous times when reading the quotes. Raju had arranged for the curator to present Ron with gifts of books from the museum. From here we drove to the beach and had a picnic with Mr. Suresh’s family (the City administrator). Ron and I braved a camel ride. And like our elephant ride in Thailand several years ago, it was a thrill and our first and last ride. It is terrifying as the camel raises up and as he lowers to the ground. If you aren’t holding on tight, you could have a really nasty fall. Photos to follow! We watched the sunset and headed home for yet another meal. At 10:00 Ron, Piyash, Kantilal, Astha and I went to a magic show. Piyash had arranged for us to meet the world famous magicians during the interval. We kept feeling like royalty with this family. We came home at 12:30 and the families were gathered in the bedroom that has the computer in it looking at the photos from the day’s outings. We parted after a short while but they stayed up until 3:00 a.m. We soon discovered that the Gupta’s keep late hours. Dinner is often served at 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. with break fast (not breakfast) served in between meals. My favorite break fast was fresh mango shakes made with mango pulp, ice and milk. My notes from day one say “I have never felt more spoiled and accepted.’ More to follow.