This is a classic. Friday Ron called me from work to say he had heard that a bomb had been exploded in the harbor in Colombo. Our cable service is suspended due to a lawsuit so I went on line to confirm the report. I went to BBC. I copied this from the BBC web page:

"The police initially said there had been an explosion about 15km (nine miles) from Colombo, caused by a sea mine planted by Tamil Tiger rebels.
But the government said later that the sound had been caused by "a sonic boom" from fighter jets on a training run."


Now you can see just how each side works to discredit the other. Without even knowing what caused the sound, the police are reporting it as a LTTE destruction behavior. This type of reporting only serves to keep the civilians on edge and engender hatred for the other side. Every time there is a killing in the north and east the LTTE says it is the government trying to make the LTTE look bad. You have to wonder if the government and the LTTE really want peace when this type of behavior is going on. To add to the saga, the LTTE is now issuing an ultimatum that the members of the cease-fire monitoring mission who are from countries that are in the EU must be replaced with non-EU members. This is because the EU has now declared the LTTE a terrorist organization. We still feel safe here so for all of you, who are reading reports or misinformation about what is going on here, stop worrying for now. We will let you know when to start to worry!!

Mey, our Cambodian houseguest, has yet to arrive. I think she is having fun being on her own. She has a full time security guard at the house and the nanny is there when she gets home from school until the evening so she isn’t totally alone. Mey said on Saturday she would come here today.

Our friend John Craig, who is a consultant on Ron’s project, arrived on Saturday from Croatia where he and his wife live. He had him over for dinner on Saturday and got to see lots of baby pictures. John and Jennifer are the proud parents of an adorable, very photogenic son, Harper. We had a lively discussion about SL and about the project. It was good for Ron and me to spend some time with John. On Sunday we met for lunch at Barefoot, a lovely outdoor café associated with the store/bookshop where I spend time and money for gifts and clothes for us.

After lunch we came home and started working on dinner. We had Chandini and her husband, Laksman, over for Italian fare. Chandini is our language teacher and on the board at Shilpa, the children’s home where I volunteer, teaching career development classes. Last week I finally got around to making some jewelry. I hauled four cases of beads over here from home and haven’t touched them until last week. I made necklaces for each of the girls and gave them to the girls when we met on Friday. We had a delightful evening with Chandini and Laksman and are grateful for their friendship. We are going to try to get out more on the weekend. We are so used to doing projects at home on Saturdays and Sundays and usually we have a long to do list. Not the case here. We have yet to visit the national museums so I will try to organize us to get out and about each weekend if Ron isn’t working.

Tuesday.
Yesterday another suicide bomber killed the third highest-ranking military officer in SL when the general was going to work. The bomber rammed the officer’s car with his motorcycle and killed four people in addition to him. Since the bomber knew exactly when and where the officer would be, it appears the attackers have inside information. Pre-ceasefire security measures are being re-instituted that will mean more security checks, more roadblocks, etc. The paper’s description is way too graphic in describing the aftermath. This reminds me of the 1960’s song, Where Have All the Flowers Gone? The refrain, ‘when will we ever learn’? comes to mind. Violence only begets violence. It is not a solution. I vote for Gandhi’s approach. ‘Nuff’ said.

Oops, I forgot to post this. I wrote it 6-22-06.
Only in Sri Lanka. The satellite company is suing the government because the cable companies don’t have a satellite license. So since June 15, no one in SL has had cable access. Welcome to our world where nothing can be counted on in the way of consistency: you can’t count on your favorite grocery items being on the shelf, you can’t count on any retailer to have the items you need although they may have had those items last week (I have tried to buy compost twice in the past two weeks at the garden shop and it isn’t available right now and won’t be for another two weeks!) and now we can’t count on having cable access. I am curious what they will do about billing us given this scenario. We haven’t seen any news consequently. Perhaps we need a little more Buddhist acceptance!

We will be moving into a very busy three-week period starting Friday. Mey, a 13-year-old Cambodian girl will stay with us until her parents return from the US on July 2nd. We are looking forward to it as she is a delight and quite mature for her age. On Saturday a consultant who has become a friend arrives for a three-week period so we will be hanging out with John during his stay. Next Wednesday three people from the City of Vancouver WA will arrive to help on one of Ron’s projects so we will be entertaining them during their two week stay. Ron is planning a huge conference for local authorities with 500 invitees to be held July 12-13. Between now and the 14th of July, we will be flying, so to speak.

Our saga with WAMU continues. Ron still doesn’t have a PIN number although it was promised two weeks ago. It has yet to be mailed. I was promised a new ATM and PIN to be Fed Exed June 7th and it has yet to be sent. We have decided WAMU gets the prize for incompetence and misrepresentation of what they say they are going to do. Believe it or not Ron is working with the head Customer Service person who reports directly to the Pres. It’s truly amazing the difference between what she said she would do and what she has actually done. So Ron has had no ATM access to his account since May 3rd. And is he ever pissed! We have submitted paperwork to open an account in the US with an international bank and were told it would take 4-6 weeks. And you thought government was slow.

The monsoons have arrived. Boy oh boy, when it rains here, it pours. I think I had forgotten. This morning at 4:00 we woke up to a ferocious wind then a deluge. It was amazing. It has rained hard at least twice since then. I was getting ready to leave the pharmacy when it started so I just waited about five minutes before getting into the trishaw. That is the good news, it is fast and furious and over in 10-15 minutes. You could drown out there. But it is cooler usually when it rains-not always but usually. The only problem is trying to get clothes dry. I don’t think they have clothes dryers here. I will have to be careful to be here once I hang clothes out or I will have to spin them again. Geetha saved the day today while I was out and brought in the things I had on the line.

This is short and sweet but so are we! I wanted to get this out before I got too busy with company.

Photos of Chennai, Pondicherry and Cuddalore are now posted at www.rtsla.photofreeway.com

You have probably read about the latest violence here: a bus full of civilians was blown up and 66 men, women and children died. This is the worst civilian violence since the 2002 cease-fire agreement. The government responded by bombing the LTTE controlled area by land, sea and air. The two sides (the SL government and the LTTE) continue to point fingers at one another and there doesn’t appear to be any real leadership. Although the president say he will not be provoked into war, by the same token nothing has been done to improve the lives of the Tamils in the east and north. Talk is cheap as we say. We wonder if we will be able to stay until December when Ron’s contract is up. One of two things is possible. Either the violence will escalate and the war will resume full force or the violence will escalate and the two sides will realize how much is to be lost by their continuing the war. Already this year tourism is down. You wouldn’t believe how many luxury or boutique hotels have been built since the cease-fire. I wouldn’t want to be invested in any of them at this point.

So we are watching and waiting. Ron’s entire program in the east and north has been suspended for the time being. If the conflict moves into other areas or into Colombo I am guessing we will be outta here pretty darn quick. We have already read the documents we received from ICMA, Ron’s employer, about how to proceed if an evacuation order is issued. Being the planner that I have become in my old age, I have finished all my gift shopping and have sent the packages home UPS. It just didn’t seem prudent to wait until November to do that, particularly since we aren’t so sure we will be here in November.

Yesterday Veena and I went to an exotic plant sale. I insisted that I pay for the plants that we got. We bought one orchid ($2.), six mums, four plants I don't know the name of, 4 hydranga starts and one dianthus and I don't think I spent $10. Last night we had Mey over for her 13th birthday celebration. Her parents are in the US as required by the government for her mother's green card. Mey and her mom are Cambodian and Peter is an American. So Mey is staying at home alone this week preparing for her school exams. She will have two a day everyday this week. Then she will stay with us until her parents get back on July 2nd.

Today has been terrific. I couldn’t sleep last night so got up and read in the second floor sitting room, outside our bedroom. It started to rain and it sounded like someone up there was pouring buckets of water on the roof. We have a frosted glass atrium roof so the sound can get quite loud. I was delighted as it meant I didn’t have to water the gardens today. Since then it has rained about five more times, sometimes a real torrential downpour. It looks like the monsoons are here. I made hay so to speak. I spread compost (normally very hot work), I fertilized the lawn saving more water as I did it in the rain, harvested our first compost from our handy dandy compost bin, lifted weights and did some yoga. My exercise program has gone to hell here because it is always too hot to do anything other than our morning walk at 6:00 A.M. So I loved taking advantage of the cooling rains and getting so much done Yahoo!

Today we are going to a Hindi movie with English subtitles. Very few movies of interest play here. There are the usual action (violent) films like “Mission Impossible III” but not much else. We did manage to see “Water” when it was here and I encourage you to see it. It was filmed in Sri Lanka because the fundamentalist Hindus in India burned the set to the ground as they took offense at the portrayal of their customs. The director filmed it here under another name to avoid more controversy.

That’s about it for today. Pray for peace.

6-15-06
Chennai (Madras) and Pondicherry

On Saturday, June 10th, we got up at 4:00 to get ready for our airport pick up and had a quick coffee and cereal breakfast. Then we were served a hot breakfast on the plane. Just to make sure we had enough, we arrived at the Chennai Sheraton in time for their complimentary buffet breakfast and gosh knows you wouldn’t want to pass up a freebie like that. Free as in $140 a night for a bed. Somehow when you are sleep deprived, eating seems to be the answer. We took a short nap and I sent Ron off for a massage. He has been a wee bit stressed thanks to WAMU and some stress from his work. I read in the room while he had a massage with two therapists working on each side, left and right, simultaneously and he finished with a steam bath and shower. Afterwards we headed out to do some exploring and shopping. I try to buy gifts when I travel for the eight young women I work with at Shilpa, for Veena our landlady, and for Geetha, our wonderful housekeeper. We found a store that specialized in Indian crafts so I got the girls hand painted paper Mache boxes. We also found the hammered copper cups we had seen in Kerala and have been looking for ever since. That night for dinner, we went to a nearby restaurant that served the meal on a banana leaf and we were the only non-Indians in the place.

The next morning Jon, Ron’s boss and his wife, Alice met us after breakfast and we visited until noon and decided to head out and do more exploring. We went to the Fort museum, visited a Hindu temple, the tomb of St Thomas aka Doubting Thomas, St Mary’s Church in Fort St George that was begun around 1640. St Mary’s is the earliest English building surviving in tact in India and the oldest Anglican Church in Asia, consecrated in 1680. There are reminders here of Elihu Yale, the early governor of Madras who went on to found Yale University. We saw the beaches and harbor. Chennai boasts the second largest harbor in India after Mumbai (Bombay). We stopped for lunch at an Indian restaurant and Ron said “You can order anything you want because it’s your birthday”. Alice looked up from her menu and said, “Mine too!” I have only met one other person who shared my birthday and she was born the same year. Alice is 53 to my 61. We came back to the hotel after lunch as Alice and Jon had jet lag from their 20-hour flight. I had seen an ad for an ‘affordable art sale’ so talked Mr. B into going to check it out. The works ranged from not so good to professional level art work. We found a lovely framed with glass watercolor of a street scene in India and got it for about $70. We were quite pleased. Another find for the Thailand home we are furnishing.

Next day we left around 9:00 although the agenda had said we were to leave 6:30 a.m. We drove three hours to Pondicherry. We were once again delighted to have good roads to travel on: they were recently paved, had shoulder most of the way and even had four lanes for a while. Pondicherry has a lovely colonial French section of town, where we stayed in a wonderful colonial inn. It was stucco with colored concrete floors. My favorite part was the bathrooms with pedestal sinks and color washed walls. The shower had little arched alcoves for your shampoo, etc. This is a much simpler accommodation so it cost around $40. a night.

Pondicherry came under French rule in the mid-18th century and was finally returned to India 1954. A canal originally divided the town. On one side was Ville Blanche (that would be French for white) and the other side was (you guessed it) Ville Noir (black) for the Indian population. Let me just say, there is a distinct difference between the two sides. The streets of the old French area are cobbled and the waterfront was designed to resemble Nice. I am not sure what it looked like before the tsunami but now there is a pretty ugly seawall of large stones. Sri Aurobindo Ashram was founded in 1926 and it is one of the most popular with Westerners and is the most affluent. There are many businesses in Pondicherry with their name: travel agency, jewelry shop, bookstore, clothing and craft stores, etc. The Aurobindo group, the Alliance Française and other bodies undertook an extensive restoration of the French quarter a number of years ago. Many houses and institutions in the streets between the waterfront and the canal are now very chic and gentrified, the gardens blooming with flowering trees and bougainvillea. The overall impression is one of gleaming whitewashed residences and a concern for maintaining high standards that you don’t find in most of India.

It was a wee bit oxymoronic to sit in our outdoor dining area at the hotel, with its thatched roof, feeling like you were in France, although we were in southern India and hearing waiters speak French and the radio playing country and western music from a US satellite radio station in Nashville!

That afternoon Alice and I went antiquing and meandering. We had a fabulous meal at a French-Indian restraint. It was hot so we took a nap. We ate at the hotel that night. On Tuesday we found a great clothes shop called FabIndia. It was started in 1960 using rural craftspeople to create beautiful handcrafted items. They sell furniture, bed linens, kitchen items, incredible hand loomed fabrics and clothing. They source their items from 7,500 craftspeople in India in an effort to encourage and sustain rural employment. If you are interested to learn more, Google fabindia. It’s a great success story. The day we were there Pondicherry had a power outage so we tried on clothes in the dark, stepping near the windows when we wanted to see how we looked. Since we wanted to pay for our clothes with a credit card, we had to come back after 2:00 when the power would be on. I am pretty sure this was a planned outage because when we went to the other side of the canal, half the merchants had their generators on the sidewalk going full blast, spewing more pollutants into the atmosphere. That was the same day there was a taxi, three-wheeler strike in town to protest the higher gas prices.

Alice took off with Ron and Jon for the afternoon to do site visits. I was so hot the thought of standing on more hot concrete was not appealing so I hung around the hotel reading, eating lunch and napping. Later in the day, I walked to the waterfront. I paid for my clothes and looked for a scarf to go with one of the outfits. I have gone native because I am unable to find ‘western’ clothes in this neck of the woods. Soon I’ll model them for the camera and post the photos on the web. As I was meandering through town, I saw an elderly man ironing outside using an old cast-iron iron and I don’t know how it was heated unless he had coals inside the base. I saw mothers who had brought their child’s lunch to school and they were having picnics on the sidewalk in front of the school. School lunches are not provided in this part of the world.

The group got home at 6:30 and Ron went to an art exhibit with me and bought a shirt at fabindia. This is a hand block print shirt for $5. The four items I bought cost $32. That night our AC wasn’t working so we slept in another room. About 3:00 a.m. we were awakened by acrid smoke filling the room. Apparently the air conditioner was going down in flames. We ran around looking for our clothes and other items we brought to the room with us (thank goodness we had not bothered to move everything to the new room). We got to the reception area where two staff were sleeping on cots. They found us yet another room; this one had no AC so we had a hot night, so to speak. We woke up tired and sweaty. Our original room had no power so we couldn’t shower there.

Ron had a morning meeting with Jon and Jami, another ICMA staff person. We left after lunch for Chennai. On the way we saw lots of horned cows many that had had their horns painted red, blue or green, rice paddies being plowed with two horned cows and the old wooden plow that we see in those great photos in National Geographic. We saw mud huts with coconut-thatched roofs that came very low on the structure. I couldn’t tell if the walls to the house were only 3-4 feet high with the roof being the major part of the structure or if the roof just came very low on the structure to provide shade. We saw fences made from coconut thatch. Six to eight women standing side by side were planting rice paddies in their brightly colored saris that they had hiked up so as to not get wet. Swastikas are common here. They are used in Hindu, Jain and Buddhist traditions and symbolize good luck and auspiciousness. We saw them frequently on the sides of buildings. There were many communities where all the houses were made of thatch or mud and thatch. We weren’t sure if these were temporary houses after the tsunami or not. We passed by an area where salt was being ‘mined’ from the sea using evaporation ponds. We got to Chennai early so went shopping for sandals to replace those that were taken at the temple when we were in Navsari. I found some at the second store we went to in this mega mall that catered to western tastes and pocketbooks. For $20 I got a pair of Nike sandals. We ate at the food court, as we weren’t sure what would be available at the airport. Off to the airport and home by midnight. It was a tired couple of cuties that got to bed around 1:00 this morning, but glad to be back in our own bed. Photos will be posted this weekend.

Today I was out shopping and stopped by the nursery for some compost. They were having a ‘grand opening’ for a new enterprise-fresh cut flowers. I was thrilled as I have not been able to find any flower shops that were convenient to where we live. I bought a bouquet of alstromeeria and five stems of flowers that looked like alliums and were huge. I was given some filler flowers for arranging. It came to a grand total of 55 cents! Guess where I will be going from now on? I love having fresh flowers in the house and as lovely as our gardens are, there are only one of two plants that were conducive to cutting.

I gave up trying to find western clothes here. Some of my clothes are starting to wear out as I can only wear them once and they have to be washed. At home, I can often wear items at least twice before washing them. But as you all know from reading the blog, I sweat a lot here so frequent washing is a necessity. Consequently clothes wear out sooner. I am sure line drying in the sun is hard on the clothes also. So today I got two Punjab saris. They are the type with pants and a long blouse /short dress. I also found a blouse and two pair of pants in lightweight cotton. I think I am set for a while. When my silk sari is ready I will put it on as soon as I have a lesson on how to do that and I’ll have Ron take photos for show and tell on our photo site.

We leave very early in the morning for Chennai (Madras), which is on the SE coast of India. It’s a short flight, one hour and 20 minutes. We will have the whole day free as Jon, Ron’s boss doesn’t get in until late at night. I think I will sign Mr. B up for a much-needed massage to de-stress him. Then on Sunday Ron and Jon will be working and I will be exploring and goofing off as usual. It’s a tough job but I thoroughly enjoy scoping out new places, checking out the arts and crafts of the region. It is amazing all the crafts that come out of Kasmir, given that they are war torn with Pakistan and India fighting over a disputed area.

Speaking of war torn, Sri Lankan (SL) the cease-fire monitoring talks in Oslo are not going well. All due to egos I might add. Apparently the LTTE will not sit at the table with the low-level representatives that SL sent to Oslo. Give me a break. Do you want to make progress or have a pissing match?????? Guess that’s a rhetorical question isn’t it? Killings continue in the north and east. The government would have us believe it is all the LTTE but not so. The LTTE, the break away faction called the Karuna and the government are all guilty of breaking the cease-fire and of killing solders and civilians. There was lots of other bad news today in the paper. There is a rail strike that has stranded lots of folks. Remember most people here do not own a car so they use buses and trains to travel around the island. And there is a fuel crisis. Apparently the government is guilty of non-payment of fuel subsidies and the oil companies cannot afford to import any more oil consequently. Sometimes you just can’t believe what goes on here.

One bank saga continues. Apparently after telling us they can’t send PIN numbers out of the country, they are sending me mine with my new card. I have my fingers crossed. So they sent Ron’s PIM to a friend in Vancouver who is to email us the number once it arrives. So far it has been 37 days since Ron has been able to access his cash. He is pissed. That’s one thing I would really like to get resolved so he can relax about it. We have started the process of opening a US checking account with an international bank, HSBC. However that is easier said than done. So far I have made three trips to get all the needed paper work from our local branch. Two of the three trips took over an hour each to find the forms on the bank’s internal website and get them printed. After filling the forms out, we must go back to the local branch to show passports and sign in front of a bank employee. That will be next week due to our travel schedule. Then it takes 4-6 weeks to open the account. And you thought government was slow. So that’s what is happening in the tropics today where the men are gorgeous, the weather is sultry and the Bergman’s are having an adventure,

Big Battle of Busy Bugs and Bad Banks
This morning I opened a new package of cereal and poured it into the plastic container where I keep cereal to keep bugs out. A few minutes later I noticed a slew of ants in the container. Apparently they were already in the plastic bag the cereal comes in. I was ticked since this is a small bag of healthy cereal and costs $5.00 a bag, which is more than many people make in a day in SL, including my housekeeper. So I now have some very expensive compost working in the bin!

But that is nothing compared to the ongoing saga with Washington Mutual. Since
May 3rd Ron has been unable to access his cash because WAMU managed to change debit/ATM cards vendors. They cancelled his old ATM card May 3rd, assuming he had received the new card. However the post office does not forward such cards. It has taken numerous collect phone calls and almost one month to get him a replacement card. Guess what? They changed his PIN although they said they wouldn’t and they have yet to send the new PIN #. To add insult to injury they managed to choose a vendor that has NO international access to the ATM! Can you imagine having over 11 million customers and having no international ATM access? Someone should get fired for this brilliant decision. The bank told Ron to just walk into any bank that accepts MasterCard and he can get cash on his signature. The only problem with that is the amount of traveling Ron does. If he arrives in Bombay for example on Friday night, he would have to wait until Monday morning in the airport to get a cab to the bank. India does not accept SL rupees so you can’t change money. Ron has been having lots of conversations with the top-level customer service representative. She reports directly to the president of the bank. We are flabbergasted at the incompetence of the people he has dealt with thus far and the incredible inefficiency. We discovered this week the bank cannot send PIN numbers out of the US. So we are having our PIN sent to a friend who will in turn send it to us via email. We are now trying to open a US account with an international bank to get a real ATM card! Hopefully we will be able to do this before we go to Thailand in July. A coworker of Ron’s is meeting us in Chennai this weekend and bringing us some Thai currency and some US currency. She is stationed in Thailand and her husband works for the US consulate. Thank god for small blessings! My ATM card is due to be changed the 19th so then we will have no access to ATMs. Lovely! I have been stockpiling cash in various hiding places for a week. So, if you have money at Washington Mutual, better move it someplace else... These folks are INCOMPETENT!

This episode has been a wee bit stressful for the big guy. Work is increasing again so I am hopeful this scenario with WAMU gets resolved real soon and that the HSBC comes through for us. I commented to a friend via email that living in a foreign is stressful because the simplest things aren’t so simple. Everything takes extra effort. When shopping, whether for groceries or clothes or gifts, you find that whatever you saw last week on the shelf is not there now and won’t be for some time, particularly if it is an imported food item. I had to wait close to a month for the soymilk we drink to be in stock. I had resorted to using apple juice and Ron was eating his cereal dry because apple juice didn’t appeal to him. We take a lot for granted in the US. Life is so abundant and so much excess lulls us into thinking we can get whatever we want, whenever we want it. Not so in a developing country. At least one fourth of the time whatever ATM I am using is out of order here. One day I am allowed to withdraw $200 from Hatton Bank and the next day I can only withdraw $100. When you have a whole series of events that are frustrating or difficult, you can get a rather sour attitude about where you are. We have had such a week here. I am not complaining so much as trying to paint a picture. Living abroad is a wonderful experience and we wouldn’t trade anything for it. But it has its moments of trial and tribulation. There are days when you just want to go home and have the easy life with a minimum of hassles. Living in a developing country is what we wanted and were thrilled to get this assignment but let me warn you, living in a developing country is not for the faint hearted!

Yesterday I met a woman at Shilpa, the children’s home where I volunteer and teach the career development classes. Her husband works with the US embassy here. I asked how long she had been here and she said three years. I thought to myself ‘oh my god, I’d never make it!’ Of course, I bet her life is just a wee bit different than mine. I saw her driver pull up in the air-conditioned car. She probably doesn’t go grocery shopping…I had a grand time getting some toiletries for the 50 girls at Shilpa. They had asked for soap, bath powder, toothbrushes and toothpaste among a few other items. I went to the two biggest stores in town because neither of them had 50 of any of these items. So I bought some toothbrushes at one store, and then went to another store to get the balance. The amazing thing is how far $100 goes. An Oral B toothbrush here costs $0.30. I think they are close to $2.00 at home. I think next time I will see if I can buy case goods to save the hassle of multiple stores.

We leave Saturday morning for Chennai (Madras) on the SE coast of India then on Sunday we head south to Pondicherry, once ruled by the French. It is supposed to be quite pretty with the architecture, etc. Ron will be working pro bono with his boss from DC who is there doing a project. We will return on Wednesday, June 14th. I will celebrate my 61st birthday on Sunday, June 11th. I am not sure how I got to be this old because in my heart I am still just 30 something but when I look at my skin and in the mirror, my mother is looking back at me. Goodness!

Colombo has cooled a bit. They say April and May are the hottest months and I would agree. But lately we have been having a light breeze that has been delightful. Don’t get me wrong it is still hot here but somehow it feels more tolerable. Well I just checked my handy weather site and discovered that it is 95 degrees today BUT the humidity has dropped to 49%! That is huge. Usually the humidity is 95% here. No wonder it feels cool.

Tricia has been cleaning the blades of the ceiling fans. This is the second time we’ve had to clean them since we’ve been in the house since last Thanksgiving. The blades are black with grime from the air. Makes you worry about the quality of air we breathe everyday. Yuk!
So much for happenings in paradise only 5 degrees north of the equator!

An Incredible Journey
Part three

Monday we were supposed to go to Surat but I was coming down with a cold and decided I needed to rest so I stayed home and Ron and Raju went to Surat to meet with the City staff there. They were gone for most of the day. I slept almost the entire morning. We had lunch at 4:00 but Santidevi, Raju’s mother who spoke no English was concerned about me being hungry. She peeled and cut an apple for me, she peeled a pomegranate for me, she served me fresh mango and had someone make be a fresh mango milkshake. YUM. Santidevi is elderly and has difficultly walking, and uses a cane to get around. But she can frequently be seen in the living room or in her room, which opens onto the living room, preparing vegetables for cooking. At meals times both in the home and in restaurants plates and bowls are often shared. So two people will use one plate. Meals are leisurely and joyful with lots of conversation and laughter. No one ever reads the paper at the table.

Monday night we went out to eat at the family hotel. The entire family went with the exception of Santidevi and Maya. There were four generations, ages three to 82, sitting at the tables. Once again we had a feast with a constant supply of fresh off the stove chapattis. We had dhal, eggplant, mixed vegetables, saag paneer (creamed spinach with cheese) and sweet yogurt. Afterwards about five of us went into the air-conditioned office and visited then all of us we went upstairs to the terrace where we could see the lights of Navsari and catch a cool breeze. Then we walked back home. Once there we all piled into one of the bedrooms and watched CD’s of a family wedding. Nitu hennaed my palms with an elaborate design. Photos to follow. We got to bed at 1:00 a.m.

Tuesday we went to the Navsari city offices and met with the mayor, a woman, and six of the city council members. They have 42 members on their council. Each person there had a cell phone and there were two phones on the mayor’s desk. Throughout the meeting phones rang in loud, obtrusive tones and calls were taken. At one point, two councilors were on their cell phones, and another side conversation was going on. It was a bit distracting. We have found the same behavior whenever we have met with city officials Sri Lanka. We were again presented with lovely flower bouquets and Ron was given a lovely traditional wool shawl. Raju never let a single detail escape him.

Sangita’s brother and his family left today. Om, who is three came up to Ron and touched his feet, a traditional way to say goodbye to your elders. It was very sweet. After lunch, I wandered into Vidhi and Parth’s room. The teens were on the computer; the women were visiting and lounging on the bed. One by one other family members entered the room to enjoy one another’s company. I sat on the bed with the women, three of whom had stretched out across the bed. It is terribly hot in Navsari as the heat builds before the monsoons so resting during the heat of the day is a needful activity and the bedrooms are air-conditioned. Ron was resting upstairs as he caught my cold.

In the late afternoon we went gift shopping for the family. Parth and Piyash accompanied us and thought we were shopping for folks in SL. So I was quite clever when they were pointing out gifts to inquire which ones they liked the best. I had purchased gifts for Raju’s immediate family before leaving Sri Lanka but didn’t realize how many people lived in the home. After the incredible reception we received from the entire family we wanted to thank them in some way. We returned home and rested some more then wandered downstairs around 7:30. Most of the family was sitting on the veranda visiting. Raju’s father, his oldest brother, his mother and Raju took turns presenting us with gifts of framed photos that had been taken while we were staying with them. It was very touching. So I went and got our gifts but realized not everyone was there. The gifts were in bags so no one could see them. We waited for Meena to arrive and then called everyone into the living room because by then the family had meandered into three different rooms. They thought I was going to show them what I had bought for our friends in SL. Ha! It was great fun to see the look on Piyash’s face when he realized I had tricked him while shopping.

Afterwards Raju and Piyash took us to a store and bought us five CD’s of Indian music. We told him two would be great but Raju has a wonderful way of ignoring our pleas. He said ‘now you will remember us when you hear the music’. We said, ‘Raju, we will never forget this experience and it won’t require the music to remember it’. On the way home he took us by a childhood friend’s new home. Sanjay is a goldsmith and apparently the jewelry business has been very kind to him. His new home was something out of Architectural Digest, with Italian marble floors, themed bedrooms, a wall of glass of an Egyptian design etched into the glass and lit from below, custom cabinets in the kitchen. I would take Raju’s house over Sanjay’s any day because Raju’s house is so filled with love and laughter. We ate dinner at 11:00 then meandered into the bedroom where Parth and Raju were downloading the CDs of the Indian music that had been purchased for us and Ron helped them as they were having some technical difficulty. Two women were sitting on the floor, one woman had come to the house specifically to henna the women and girls for the upcoming wedding in Mumbai (Bombay). Adults and kids were on the bed watching three of the kids practice their dance routine for the upcoming wedding. All in all there were 19 of us in the room, with many watching, critiquing and applauding the dancers. It was another one of those magical moments at the Gupta home. I’ve never experienced such a close, loving family. Before the night was over all the girls and women had had their palms and arms hennaed for the wedding. I went to bed at 1:00 and they went to bed at 2:00.

Twelve people live here but there is a constant flow of relatives in and out. Relatives from Surat (about 30 miles away) came to Navsari for a wedding on Sunday and stayed until Wednesday when 20 of us boarded a train for Mumbai where another wedding was to take place this weekend. There is one small car, three motorcycles/scooters and several bikes. In addition to family members there are two maids who come daily to do the cleaning, laundry and washing the dishes. A man comes to do the ironing although I never saw him. There’s a gardener and a milkman who delivers milk to the kitchen. Other food and drink deliveries were made throughout our stay. The doors are always open. There is an easy flow in and out. All are welcomed. I only experienced one argument while there and it was between Kantilal and Santidevi. I have no idea what it was about. When Nitu became distressed over her new job, Piyash asked Ron to talk to her. About five or six of us were sitting around trying to be encouraging. It appears that the whole family gets involved in problem solving here.

On Wednesday we went to the rail station and it started to sprinkle a light rain. Raju turned to us and said’ Navsari is weeping because you are leaving’. I have never known a man who is so sensitive and able to express himself in the way Raju does. It touches my heart. Raju once again refused to let us pay for our tickets. He bought first class tickets for the three of us and the rest of the family was two cars back in a second-class coach. Throughout the three hour trip, various members came up to visit with us. We in turned went back to their car to say hi. At one point Sangita sat with us and Raju went back to the coach. We talked for a while but all eventually fell asleep. When we arrived in Mumbai it was raining and there was four to six inches of water on the roads. The monsoons had arrived. We were picked up by the groom to be and a rented car with driver and whisked away to our hotel. It took about 30 minutes to go five miles due to traffic. Raju got us a room so we could freshen up although we were leaving at midnight. It was a real treat. After resting a short while we walked over to where a party of the groom’s family was taking place and had a buffet dinner and met another of Raju’s brothers and sisters. We left at 11:00 and went back to rest for an hour before leaving for the airport. Again rather than having us take a cab, Raju and his youngest brother accompanied us to the airport. It was hard to leave and yes, I did cry when I hugged our dear friend Raju goodbye. It has been very humbling to be so readily and lovingly accepted into this family. Each member has been so very kind and generous. It was an incredible journey that we shall never forget.
Our plane was to leave at 3:30 a.m. but was delayed until 4:30. We got to Colombo around 7:30 and home by 9:00, very weary but our hearts were filled with joy from our journey to Navsari. We both came away from this trip feeling that we had a much truer sense of India from having lived with Raju and his wonderful family. We are so grateful for this expanded view.

An Incredible Journey
Part Two

Driving in Navsari is done by a concept called ‘mutual understanding’. This is because in this town of 300,000 (small by Indian standards) there are NO traffic control devices: no traffic lights, no stop signs, and no yield signs. No lane markings or traffic controls. Just an occasional traffic circle. Nothing, nil, natta, bupkus. It is amazing because somehow it works. We never saw an accident in Navsari and no traffic jams.

It’s now day two and we are going to Raju’s office to meet with the city administrator Mr. Suresh and his staff. Ron gave a presentation, comparing Sri Lanka, Portland and Navsari. There were about nine or ten men present and I was the only woman. During the presentation, pistachio ice cream was served around 11:00 a.m. Being a klutz, I managed to drip some on my skirt and the floor. I was sitting near Mr. Suresh who quickly handed me a hand towel to clean my mess. When I leaned down to clean the floor, he insisted that I not clean the floor and called for someone to come into the office to handle it. All this is happening while Ron is trying to talk about local government. When the meeting adjourned we were presented with bouquets of marigolds, roses, and goldenrod. After the meeting Mr. Suresh took us to a housing development that the city is providing for the poor of Navsari. These houses are two small rooms with a toilet in the back. One room is for sleeping and one for cooking. Many of the residents stood by as we went into one of the structures still under construction. We also stopped by the new Olympic sized swimming pool the city built. It is a great facility with a gym up stairs with workout equipment. India, like Sri Lanka, is a modest culture, particularly for women. Yet I saw women in the pool. Piyash turned to me and said, “You won’t see any bikinis here” so I was curious as to what women wore. We stood around long enough for me to see. The bathing suit for women comes down to the knees and it short sleeved. It reminded me of the early bathing suits in America except these were made of Lycra and brightly colored.

Later that day Piyash took me to the mall. The mall in Navsari is quite small by our standards but I was looking for hand block printed blouses and there was a shop in the mall that carried them. They were having a sale so I got 4 blouses for $13! That night we turned in at 11:30 but the family started looking at TV then.

The next morning, Saturday, we were to leave at 6:00 a.m. for a 400-kilometer trip to a famous 2000-year-old temple. We got up, showered and went downstairs soon to discover that we were on Indian time. We left the house at 7:00. Raju had rented a small bus with driver so we could all go in one vehicle. It was Raju’s immediate family, Sangita’s brother and his family, a council member and the two of us. Thirteen in all. Raju had many activities and sites for us to see. Throughout our visit he never let us pay for anything. He said we were not to spend one rupee while with him. He even came to the cyber café where Ron was sending a message to his office in DC and insisted paying Ron’s Internet charges. On this two-day road trip, Raju paid for all our meals and lodging and any other expenses like bottled water, etc. In addition we were always given the best seats in the van or in the restaurants or the best rooms in the hotels. On the first day we saw numerous bullock carts, hillsides that were the color of dried dung and small mud covered houses the same color with straw on the roof to keep it away from the animals.

We saw a bad wreck that looked like it had been a head on collision. No one was around; the cars were left in the road. One windshield was completely gone as many cars have no seat belts or worse, people don’t use them. I would doubt that there are wreckers around in the rural areas because before the weekend was out we saw two more wrecks with no one around yet the vehicles remained in the thoroughfare. After we got gas for the bus we soon needed to find a place to use the restroom, (you all know my tiny bladder). Later we stopped to pray at a shrine/temple of Hanuman, the monkey god.. Next came the botanical gardens, a stop by some waterfalls that had no water, as it is the dry season. Next came a stop at the mountaintop for breakfast. It was noon and we had some great Indian food here. Giant dhosas (pancakes) filled with a fried diced potato, onion and chili mixture. Throughout the trip tapes of wonderful Indian classical music played. Sangita has a beautiful voice and often sang along with the tapes. I had to pinch myself because the day was so perfect in every way. I felt so much a part of the family and felt as though I was experiencing India as it truly is with all its qualities.

We saw women construction workers in their bright beautiful saris, we saw beggars with their rail thin bodies, we saw scenery that you could only see here, such as the under layment of a highway being laid by hand, and bare dirt villages. The day was long and at times hot even with AC. Everyone slept off and on. We stopped for refreshments and saw a marionette show which the kids loved. At 6:00 we arrived at the Temple Trambakeswar, a 2000-year-old Hindu temple. There was a one and a half hour line to get in. We got in line and fairly quickly Ron and I were asked to get out of line as this temple is sacred and for Hindus only. Raju is a deeply religious and intelligent man. He asked for special permission for us to enter the temple. He told us he would pray that his guests from America could see this very special place. While we were waiting to see if we could get in, a man walked up and asked if his family could have their photo taken with Ron and me. He thanked us for coming to his country. Needless to say, we stand out here, particularly in the rural, out of the way places. This happened again the next day at another temple.

Not only were we allowed to enter the temple; we were taken to the front of the line. Two guards attempted to stop us but someone in charge told them to let us enter. The temple is sacred because it has three naturally occurring stones that represent the Brahma, Vishnu and Siva-the creator, the preserver and the destroyer. Another way of saying this is Generator, Operator, and Destroyer – GOD. There was a lot of pushing and shoving to get to this spot. Once there you may remain only a few seconds, as the demand to pray at this spot is so great. Another difference in our cultures, Indians have a much closer sense of personal space and this is most evident in temples in my experience. More about that later. Since we got out before the rest of the family, we went outside and had a fresh squeezed sugar cane juice. While there a young person was staring at us and Ron asked him if he spoke English and the kid said ‘no’ which made us all laugh because he understood the question and responded in English.

Next we drove back to town to wade in the Godavary Panchvaty River. I hope I have the spelling correct because I can’t read my writing. My notes were often taken while riding in the bus. Here we all shed our shoes and went into the river that is known because it will wash away bad karma. Many people were there and it was great fun holding onto each other as we crossed a branch of the river that had been diverted through this town square. Since the river was flowing over concrete, the surfaces were slippery. None of us fell. We were there as the sun set.

We went to one more Hindu temple that has replicas of gods from significant temples throughout India. They were quite colorful and lifelike. We checked into our hotel and went to dinner at 10:30 p.m. Before I came to India I would have never guessed that I could wait to eat that late in the day but I never seemed to have any problems with low blood sugar. More families with small children came in after us. Many restaurants in India, like Sri Lanka do not change the table linens so you are often eating with a soiled placemat or cloth. We went to bed at midnight and were up at 6:15 so we could leave at 7:00. Since most everyone else was staying in one room with several bedrooms but only one bath, we invited the family to come use out bath also. We managed to get away at 8:00. We went to the Sai Baba Temple, another famous Hindu temple. There was a long line with an expected 1.5-hour wait to get inside. The cue was controlled by railings on both sides although you could stand almost three abreast. It was very crowded. We got in line with crying babies, squirrelly teens and adults who liked to ooze ahead of you, just like Sri Lanka. Needless to say our large family group got separated into about three smaller groups due to the cutting in ahead of some folks in the line. There was constant pressure to move ahead and be on guard that more people didn’t cut in front of you. There were overhead TV’s in some parts of the building so you could watch the holy men bless the items devotees were bring to the temple. It was quite hot, even with overhead fans in some areas. It ended up taking almost three hours to get inside the temple.

Once we entered the temple the space for the line narrowed considerably and there was an incredible surge to get up front where the holy men were, what we might call the altar. It’s the area where you pray. I was shoved up against the railing a few times with absolutely no control. Once we were at the ‘altar’ you have 40-60 seconds to say your prayers because of those behind you in line. There were guards who directed worshippers and moved them along. It was noisy as a consequence. Once we got outside we went to collect our shoes. In Thailand, India and SL, you remove your shoes before entering a temple. Someone really liked my shoes and took them. They were nowhere to be found. Raju, being the incredible gentleman that he is, was insistent that I wear his shoes back to the car and for the rest of the day. We had lunch at 5:30. I can’t find any notes for what happened next but I think we just headed for home and arrived at 11:00. Dinner was waiting for us but Ron and I decided we needed sleep more than food so headed to bed.

An Incredible Journey
Part One
There will be lots of photos when Ron has time to post them at www.rtsla.photofreeway.com

We just have returned from eight days in Navsari, which is in the state of Gujarat in NW India. I didn’t have access to the Internet and besides we were so busy I wouldn’t have had time to write a blog. I’m not sure I can capture the incredible experience Ron and I had with Raju Gupta’s family but I will try. Neither of us will ever forget the experience, as it was one of the most special experiences of our lives. Since we did so much, this will be a serial blog with several installments.

Ron met Raju, the PublicWorks Director,City Engineer for Navsari at the International City/County Management Association (ICMA) conference last September, shortly before we left for Sri Lanka. Ron and Raju had worked for a couple of years to get a professional exchange put together. It took Raju four requests to finally get a visa to come to the US for the exchange, sponsored by ICMA. Following the conference Raju came to Vancouver and lived with us for two weeks and went to work with Ron everyday to learn about city management/local government in the US. So we left Wednesday for Mumbai where Raju had a car pick us up at the airport to drive us three hours north to Navsari. We arrived in Mumbai around 9:30 p.m. Parth, Raju’s 16-year-old son, Vidhi, his almost 12-year-old daughter and Sangita, Raju’s lovely wife, greeted us. Then there was Sangita’s brother and his wife and their three kids. We all piled into the car with the driver and drove to a hotel to pick up their luggage as they had been having a holiday in Mumbai for two days. So add this up. There were 11 people in the car plus luggage. Does sardine can come to mind? Lots of folks in close proximity is very usual in India and VERY different for us in North America. We’re getting ahead of ourselves, but we also saw 8 people in a tri-shaw that’s made for two passengers and a single driver. Anyway, back to the story. The traffic was horrific and it took two hours to get to the hotel. Then we headed for Navsari and stopped at midnight for dinner. We arrived at Raju’s home at 4:30 a.m. To our surprise everyone in the family was up to welcome us and what an incredible welcome we had. We entered the house and were asked to sit on the couch. Raju’s 82-year-old father placed a garland of fresh flowers around Ron’s neck and Sangita placed one around mine. Raju’s niece, Nitu then proceeded with a welcoming ritual where she put a tilak (dot on the forehead used by Hindus to indicate the focus of the mind on god) on each of us then waved a small candle on a tray near us. The ritual ended with us being showered by the family with rose petals. I was in tears by then. Such a memorable welcome. We shall never forget it. Keep in mind it is 4:30 in the morning, and the entire family got up to welcome us. Raju and Sangita gave us their bedroom for our stay.

The next morning we got up at 9:30 and were treated to a fabulous breakfast of 7-8 dishes. We had dhal with green chilies, chulca, dossas, fruit, coffee, chapatti, and Pringles. Yes Pringles are a real treat in India. I needed help keeping the family members straight so I asked Parth to help me. Twelve family members live here. Raju designed at built the house about twenty years ago for his family. The parents are Santidevi and Kantilal, the mother and father. They had 9 children, six boys and three girls. Raju is number seven in the birth order. So Santidevi and Kantilal live in the house, Raju’s older brother Umesh and his wife Maya, Piyash, (Umesh’s son and Raju’s nephew) and his wife Nisha and their two daughters Annamica and Astha and finally Raju, Sangita, Parth and Vidhi live in the house.

I thought Raju’s sister Meena and her daughter Nitu who is in her early 20’s lived there also but as I am counting I think they must live nearby as they were frequently at the house. In addition, as I mentioned Sangita’s relatives were staying there at the same time. So with Ron and me, the total was 19! There are sleeping mats to extend the number of beds. The family eats in shifts. Traditionally women prepare and serve the meal for the men and guests so Ron and I always ate first with Raju and other adult men or teenage boys. The other women ate then lastly the women who prepared the meal. I say women because while we were there two-three women would be in the kitchen preparing various dishes. Very little rice is eaten in this part of India but lots of wonderful fried breads. We were constantly offered more food as soon as we finished one of the dishes on our plates. We would politely decline at which point more food would be heaped onto our plates. It got to be a joke, as we soon realized saying “no” was meaningless. We were never allowed to clear the table or wash a dish. If I tried to take my plate to the sink, at least one if not two people would take it from me.

Raju had to go to work so Raju had asked Piyash, his nephew, if he would take care of us because our first day we were to be entertained since we had gotten in so late (or early as the case may be). This family is very close and inclusive so into a small car with Piyash driving Ron and me along with two teens and two younger kids. Three in the front in bucket seats and four in the back. It was great fun. First we went to see the family hotel, located right next to the railway station. Raju’s father when he came to Navsari many years ago had no money but started out serving food from a cart at the railway station. Eventually he bought property next to the station and developed his hotel business. It is a real rags to riches story. The hotel is in easy walking distance from the house and Kantilal still goes to work everyday. His sons Vishnu and Umesh and his grandson Piyash all work at the hotel. Vishnu and Piyash manage the restaurant. The hotel is a typical Indian hotel and has a dormitory as well as private rooms.
Next we drove out into the country to see a Hindu temple and along the way saw a rural wedding party dancing in the road with a small band of Indian musicians. What a colorful sight with the bright saris blowing in the wind and the gyrating bodies, arms over the head dancing away. A frequent sight is bullock carts and lots of cows, many of which have no owners but are dependent on the generosity of Hindus to feed them. The Holy Cow presents 360 millions gods to Hindus. McDonalds has a presence in India but serves no beef. Back to the story, we also saw a camel cart, that’s right, a cart being pulled by a camel. As we drove back into town we saw another wedding party, this time with a car decorated with large flower arrangement attached to the roof and hood of the car with garlands of marigolds connecting the two arrangements. Piyash commented that in India two people don’t marry, two families marry. About 85% of all marriages in India are arranged marriages. We went back to the house for a lunch feast, again many delicious dishes were served. We rested in the afternoon then we took two vehicles and almost the whole family went to the site where Mahatma Gandi defied the British salt tax in 1930 by marching 260 kilometers, the Salt Walk, to the spot where salt was extracted from the seawater. This act was the beginning of the “Quit India” movement that led to India’s independence in 1947. There is a wonderful statue here of Gandhi taking the salt and a small museum with wonderful photos and quotes by Gandhi. I cried numerous times when reading the quotes. Raju had arranged for the curator to present Ron with gifts of books from the museum. From here we drove to the beach and had a picnic with Mr. Suresh’s family (the City administrator). Ron and I braved a camel ride. And like our elephant ride in Thailand several years ago, it was a thrill and our first and last ride. It is terrifying as the camel raises up and as he lowers to the ground. If you aren’t holding on tight, you could have a really nasty fall. Photos to follow! We watched the sunset and headed home for yet another meal. At 10:00 Ron, Piyash, Kantilal, Astha and I went to a magic show. Piyash had arranged for us to meet the world famous magicians during the interval. We kept feeling like royalty with this family. We came home at 12:30 and the families were gathered in the bedroom that has the computer in it looking at the photos from the day’s outings. We parted after a short while but they stayed up until 3:00 a.m. We soon discovered that the Gupta’s keep late hours. Dinner is often served at 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. with break fast (not breakfast) served in between meals. My favorite break fast was fresh mango shakes made with mango pulp, ice and milk. My notes from day one say “I have never felt more spoiled and accepted.’ More to follow.