An Incredible Journey
Part three

Monday we were supposed to go to Surat but I was coming down with a cold and decided I needed to rest so I stayed home and Ron and Raju went to Surat to meet with the City staff there. They were gone for most of the day. I slept almost the entire morning. We had lunch at 4:00 but Santidevi, Raju’s mother who spoke no English was concerned about me being hungry. She peeled and cut an apple for me, she peeled a pomegranate for me, she served me fresh mango and had someone make be a fresh mango milkshake. YUM. Santidevi is elderly and has difficultly walking, and uses a cane to get around. But she can frequently be seen in the living room or in her room, which opens onto the living room, preparing vegetables for cooking. At meals times both in the home and in restaurants plates and bowls are often shared. So two people will use one plate. Meals are leisurely and joyful with lots of conversation and laughter. No one ever reads the paper at the table.

Monday night we went out to eat at the family hotel. The entire family went with the exception of Santidevi and Maya. There were four generations, ages three to 82, sitting at the tables. Once again we had a feast with a constant supply of fresh off the stove chapattis. We had dhal, eggplant, mixed vegetables, saag paneer (creamed spinach with cheese) and sweet yogurt. Afterwards about five of us went into the air-conditioned office and visited then all of us we went upstairs to the terrace where we could see the lights of Navsari and catch a cool breeze. Then we walked back home. Once there we all piled into one of the bedrooms and watched CD’s of a family wedding. Nitu hennaed my palms with an elaborate design. Photos to follow. We got to bed at 1:00 a.m.

Tuesday we went to the Navsari city offices and met with the mayor, a woman, and six of the city council members. They have 42 members on their council. Each person there had a cell phone and there were two phones on the mayor’s desk. Throughout the meeting phones rang in loud, obtrusive tones and calls were taken. At one point, two councilors were on their cell phones, and another side conversation was going on. It was a bit distracting. We have found the same behavior whenever we have met with city officials Sri Lanka. We were again presented with lovely flower bouquets and Ron was given a lovely traditional wool shawl. Raju never let a single detail escape him.

Sangita’s brother and his family left today. Om, who is three came up to Ron and touched his feet, a traditional way to say goodbye to your elders. It was very sweet. After lunch, I wandered into Vidhi and Parth’s room. The teens were on the computer; the women were visiting and lounging on the bed. One by one other family members entered the room to enjoy one another’s company. I sat on the bed with the women, three of whom had stretched out across the bed. It is terribly hot in Navsari as the heat builds before the monsoons so resting during the heat of the day is a needful activity and the bedrooms are air-conditioned. Ron was resting upstairs as he caught my cold.

In the late afternoon we went gift shopping for the family. Parth and Piyash accompanied us and thought we were shopping for folks in SL. So I was quite clever when they were pointing out gifts to inquire which ones they liked the best. I had purchased gifts for Raju’s immediate family before leaving Sri Lanka but didn’t realize how many people lived in the home. After the incredible reception we received from the entire family we wanted to thank them in some way. We returned home and rested some more then wandered downstairs around 7:30. Most of the family was sitting on the veranda visiting. Raju’s father, his oldest brother, his mother and Raju took turns presenting us with gifts of framed photos that had been taken while we were staying with them. It was very touching. So I went and got our gifts but realized not everyone was there. The gifts were in bags so no one could see them. We waited for Meena to arrive and then called everyone into the living room because by then the family had meandered into three different rooms. They thought I was going to show them what I had bought for our friends in SL. Ha! It was great fun to see the look on Piyash’s face when he realized I had tricked him while shopping.

Afterwards Raju and Piyash took us to a store and bought us five CD’s of Indian music. We told him two would be great but Raju has a wonderful way of ignoring our pleas. He said ‘now you will remember us when you hear the music’. We said, ‘Raju, we will never forget this experience and it won’t require the music to remember it’. On the way home he took us by a childhood friend’s new home. Sanjay is a goldsmith and apparently the jewelry business has been very kind to him. His new home was something out of Architectural Digest, with Italian marble floors, themed bedrooms, a wall of glass of an Egyptian design etched into the glass and lit from below, custom cabinets in the kitchen. I would take Raju’s house over Sanjay’s any day because Raju’s house is so filled with love and laughter. We ate dinner at 11:00 then meandered into the bedroom where Parth and Raju were downloading the CDs of the Indian music that had been purchased for us and Ron helped them as they were having some technical difficulty. Two women were sitting on the floor, one woman had come to the house specifically to henna the women and girls for the upcoming wedding in Mumbai (Bombay). Adults and kids were on the bed watching three of the kids practice their dance routine for the upcoming wedding. All in all there were 19 of us in the room, with many watching, critiquing and applauding the dancers. It was another one of those magical moments at the Gupta home. I’ve never experienced such a close, loving family. Before the night was over all the girls and women had had their palms and arms hennaed for the wedding. I went to bed at 1:00 and they went to bed at 2:00.

Twelve people live here but there is a constant flow of relatives in and out. Relatives from Surat (about 30 miles away) came to Navsari for a wedding on Sunday and stayed until Wednesday when 20 of us boarded a train for Mumbai where another wedding was to take place this weekend. There is one small car, three motorcycles/scooters and several bikes. In addition to family members there are two maids who come daily to do the cleaning, laundry and washing the dishes. A man comes to do the ironing although I never saw him. There’s a gardener and a milkman who delivers milk to the kitchen. Other food and drink deliveries were made throughout our stay. The doors are always open. There is an easy flow in and out. All are welcomed. I only experienced one argument while there and it was between Kantilal and Santidevi. I have no idea what it was about. When Nitu became distressed over her new job, Piyash asked Ron to talk to her. About five or six of us were sitting around trying to be encouraging. It appears that the whole family gets involved in problem solving here.

On Wednesday we went to the rail station and it started to sprinkle a light rain. Raju turned to us and said’ Navsari is weeping because you are leaving’. I have never known a man who is so sensitive and able to express himself in the way Raju does. It touches my heart. Raju once again refused to let us pay for our tickets. He bought first class tickets for the three of us and the rest of the family was two cars back in a second-class coach. Throughout the three hour trip, various members came up to visit with us. We in turned went back to their car to say hi. At one point Sangita sat with us and Raju went back to the coach. We talked for a while but all eventually fell asleep. When we arrived in Mumbai it was raining and there was four to six inches of water on the roads. The monsoons had arrived. We were picked up by the groom to be and a rented car with driver and whisked away to our hotel. It took about 30 minutes to go five miles due to traffic. Raju got us a room so we could freshen up although we were leaving at midnight. It was a real treat. After resting a short while we walked over to where a party of the groom’s family was taking place and had a buffet dinner and met another of Raju’s brothers and sisters. We left at 11:00 and went back to rest for an hour before leaving for the airport. Again rather than having us take a cab, Raju and his youngest brother accompanied us to the airport. It was hard to leave and yes, I did cry when I hugged our dear friend Raju goodbye. It has been very humbling to be so readily and lovingly accepted into this family. Each member has been so very kind and generous. It was an incredible journey that we shall never forget.
Our plane was to leave at 3:30 a.m. but was delayed until 4:30. We got to Colombo around 7:30 and home by 9:00, very weary but our hearts were filled with joy from our journey to Navsari. We both came away from this trip feeling that we had a much truer sense of India from having lived with Raju and his wonderful family. We are so grateful for this expanded view.